Classify under: Experiments.
To be honest, the above quote could really describe my general attitude of late. I briefly mentioned the ennui that's been persisting of late, and it's still here.
What I've done is turn the ennui on its' lil head. I feel like most of us feel stagnation or inertia, and panic. Because everything in the American ethos is ACTION!
Stifled by George III - revolt!
Wallowing in the slums of the east - go west, young man, go west!
Don't have "enough" - work harder! work more! work faster!
Have a week off - do stuff! go places! get things done! relaxing is for sissies!
I get it. I am guilty of that myself.
But there's a gift here. In this inertia. In this ennui.
There's a silent message of I am enough. A quiet voice that says, hey kid, be still. Breathe. Just be.
In the quiet, you hear your voice. It's a little scary. But the more you listen, the more clarity you find. The voice asks, "What do you want? Where do you want to go? Let's PLAY!".
That's where I've been living for a while. I oscillate (wildly) between my action brain and my zen brain, between my I'm-not-doing and my I'm-just-listening states of being. Yet I am listening. I am breathing.
Am I where I thought I'd be? No.
Do I know where I'm going? No.
Is that a bad thing? No.
What I know is who will be traveling with me, and a large group of folks who have my back, and at the end of the day, that's all that matters.
Song of the week: "Back In The World" by David Gray (off of his album, Mutineers)