Thursday, August 1, 2013

My personal lexicon.

I am writing this at the request of one of my favoritest 'Shire peeps, Stephanie, who thinks my lexicon is both hilarious and ridiculous.

Stephanie's disbelief in my lexicon started when she was telling me about her poopy day and I uttered, to be the supportive, loving, caring friend that of course I am: "You poor poochie pot!". She stopped what she was going to say, looked at me like my hair was on fire and stated emphatically, "That is NOT a word". Um, yeah, it is, chica. Yeah, it is. In my world.

I feel like I've always had my own lexicon. Some of it comes from having the variety of brain which combines words, i.e. I will think of two words - for example nice and cute - and the word that it audibly uttered is cice, because at the last possible moment, I couldn't decide which word I wanted to use most so took parts of both words. Or when instead of saying, "That really hit the spot", it came out as "That really hot the spit". 

Side note: sometimes the combining of words comes out in your favor because you create a wonderful new word in the process. For instance fabulous and fantastic becomes fantabulous. Which is a seriously cool word, amirite? Useful in many situations.

When I started working in The 'Shire (and come to think of it, at current job), my new colleagues were amazed at the depth of my lexicon and requested that I put together a primer, so that they could follow along whenever I uttered a word unfamiliar to them. So without further ado (although with an errant comment underneath the handy-dandy, suitable for printing and framing table), I present:
Jen's Lexicon

How much lip schmutz is too much? I am not qualified to make that judgement. Or I am eminently qualified. The jury is out.
From left to right: tube on my desk at work, tubes in my work bag, tubes in my handbag,  tube in my wallet. That's totally normal, right?

The Happy Clap is a four fold state of being. 
1. Upper body movement is holding your hands at namaste then clapping my rigid, flat hands three times. And only three times. 
2. Lower body movement is kicking one leg back so that your calf is perpenticular to the floor.
3. Head movement is to tilt your head back and to one side.
4. Vocal utterance is basically a high "Squee" kind of noise. Or any noise indicating joy and happiness. 
These three movements and one vocal utterance comprise 
what is known as The Happy Clap.

Vocalization of many of these words includes the addition of a half-octave jump in pitch to the first syllable. For instance, faboo becomes FA-boo! You can also use this vocalization technique on non-Jen Lexicon words, like fabulous. With this exciting feature, you can take a sad monotone "Fabulous" to the next level by pronouncing it as "FAB-u-lous!" or "Fantastic" to "FAN-tastic!". 

OR you can also go for a combo move of combining a word like that with The Happy Clap. Perhaps exchanging the "Squee!" for the enhanced "FA-boo!". The possibilities are endless. 

Tone also makes a huge difference. Uttering a monotone "Fartknocker" has a totally different meaning that an utterance of "FARTknocker" or even "FartKNOCKER". It's all in the circumstance. 

*-I refer to my formal tiara in the definition of tiara day. I actually have four: 
1. my formal tiara - which is the tiara I wore when I married Spouse
2. my informal tiara - which Bratty Sister got for me on my 42nd birthday
3. my work tiara - which is a plastic comb about 2" wide and yes, I do wear it at work as needed
4.  my party tiara - "borrowed" from an event - it's just a headband of a felt tiara, covered in sequins

Some days you just.need.a.tiara. You just do.

Please feel free to use any of these terms in your life. 
You are welcome.

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